Carried Along

A blog about real life through the lens of Christ

recent posts

  • The Cure for “Facebook Envy”: Be Thankful

    I do it all the time.  I am simply perusing Facebook to “kill time”, and soon I’m coveting someone else’s family, vacation, job, place of residence, cabin.  Whether it’s an idyllic beach vacation or a creative activity with their kids, their online lives seem so much better than mine- less stressful, more fun, more ideal.  If I admit it, I’ve always been this way-the coveting type.  I envy others’ sense of style, popularity, fun personality, job, or life in general.  You’d think I’d have outgrown this ridiculous habit.  It’s not like I don’t know that there isn’t a single person who hasn’t been touched by this fallen world.  Time and time again, I have idolized a person’s life just to learn of a heart break they’ve endured, usually something much more tragic than I’ve never even come close to experiencing.  Broken relationships, wayward children, contentious relationships, debt, discontentment-dysfunction is rampant, even in the lives of those who have the most convincing Facebook photos. Sure, I stop and give thanks when I’m made aware of these realities, but it never takes long for my contentment issues to sneak back in, convincing me that other’s lives are still somehow better, more fulfilling than mine. 

    Just like my recent growing screen addiction, I excuse away my glaring jealousy.  I tell myself it’s not too serious and move on. The problem? It is serious, however; grave, in fact.  The green monster directly conflicts with the basic tenets of our faith.  In James’ “Taming the Tongue” chapter, he exposes the gravity of simple envy saying, “But if you have bitter jealousy and selfish ambition in your hearts, do not boast and be false to the truth.  This is not the wisdom that comes down from above, but is earthly, unspiritual, demonic.  For where jealousy and selfish ambition exist, there will be disorder and every vile practice” (3:14-15).  Wow!  Despite my efforts to brush it under the rug, this is no light matter.

    It shouldn’t surprise me, really.  The truth is that when I’m coveting the alleged simplicity of my friend’s stay-at-home mom status or idyllic neighborhood, I’m violating Christ’s command to “love my neighbor”.  In 1 Corinthians 13, commonly known as “the love chapter”, Paul describes love.  Here he tells us that “Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast . . . “and “ . . . rejoices with the truth” (13:4, 6).  Well, that is convicting.  My small habit of putting others’ lives on a pedestal actually prevents me from loving others as I should.  My failure to see the reality of my friends’ and acquaintances’ hardships is a wall barring me from “’bearing’ one another’s burdens” in order to “fulfill the law of Christ” (Galatians 5:2).  Much to my chagrin, this small habit can actually render me paralyzed in my faith, blind and disobedient to my loving Father.

    The seriousness of this sin begs the question: If envy is the disease, what is the cure?  The answer is glaringly obvious.  The easiest way to combat envy is to be thankful.  A quick google search tells me that the Bible mentions the word “thanks” 73 times and phrases that mean “give thanks” 114 times. Take for instance 1 Thessalonians which says, “Rejoice always, pray continually, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you” (5:16-18), “Give thanks to the Lord, for he is good; his love endures forever” (1 Corinthians 16:34), or ”Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, since as members of one body you were called to peace.  And be thankful” (Colossians 3:15).  The list could go on for miles. 

    Yes.  God’s word gives us a steady barrage of reminders to be thankful scripture wide so that we will acknowledge our need for and dependence on Him.  As with any command he gives, whether it addresses gratitude, purity, forgiveness, or numerous other issues, our obedience benefits us infinitely more than we know.  As Christ is “the way, the truth, and the life” (John 14:6), living our lives in alignment with his tenets frees us to live the “abundant” life he promises.  One essential tenet is to give thanks-not just when we feel like it, but “in all circumstances” (1 Thessalonians 5:16). Imagine the time I could save if I practiced this simple command!

    In a fallen world consumed with the need to have the ideal relationship, kids, house, job, vacation home, you name it, contentment is more difficult than ever- and technology’s unrelenting presence does not help.  Lord, please make my heart newly thankful in this month of Thanksgiving and beyond.  You give so many good gifts.  May I always give thanks realizing that “Your steadfast love is better than life” and is cause enough for my “lips to praise you”(Psalms 63:3).

  • Reflections on an #Unproductive #Garden: Facing #disappointment in our everyday lives

    I love to garden.  I really do.  The idea of spring, the excitement of watching a seed turn into a small green chute, and, of course, using the squash and cucumbers I grew myself get me every time.  Not to mention the fact that my closet domestic gets to come out for a few months before I get ready to go back to school, my true calling.  While the growing season in Montana starts later than some places, even a seed catalog (which I rarely use) quickens my heart.  This year, however, has been a true disappointment so far.  While it often takes my seeds longer than the textbook time period to germinate, I have nothing up except the tomato, pepper, and rhubarb plants I bought.  The culprit?  Probably slugs, but they’ve never stopped me before.  Unfortunately, this year is the worst gardening venture so far.  I am truly disappointed.

    Now, Lord willing, I will have a thriving pumpkin plant soon (they always surprise me), but I hate waiting.  I want immediate satisfaction, no snags (or slugs), immediate success. I don’t know about you, but I feel the same extreme impatience in many areas of my life.  I want immediate results in my relationship with my husband, my prayers for my children, my mentoring relationships, and my educational and professional goals.  I know, I know, we live in a fallen world ruled by God’s purposes, not mine.  But when I pray, I want an answer, when I make an effort in a relationship, I want results, when I make a goal, I want to reach it-no snails, snags or hiccups. Is that really too much to ask?

    The older I get, the more I realize that my time is not God’s time.  Sure, I SHOULD know this.  The Bible is very clear about the disconnect between our idea of time and God’s. Ecclesiastes  11:3 tells us, “He has made everything beautiful in its time. Also, he has put eternity into man’s heart, yet so that he cannot find out what God has done from the beginning to the end”, 2 Peter 3:8-9 reminds us,  “But do not forget this one thing, dear friends: With the Lord a day is like a thousand years, and a thousand years are like a day. The Lord is not slow in keeping his promise, as some understand slowness. Instead he is patient with you, not wanting anyone to perish, but everyone to come to repentance”, and 1 Thessalonians warns us, “Now, brothers and sisters, about times and dates we do not need to write to you, for you know very well that the day of the Lord will come like a thief in the night” (5:2). 

    Even after 45 years it’s funny how, knowing these truths, I still feel devastated when I don’t get immediate results.  Just like my heartbreak this morning when I saw that I still have ZERO seeds popping up in my garden, unforeseen complications in my relationships or my angst over my blog seemingly receiving less views than ever, I am definitely the person of “little faith” Jesus talked about on that stormy night at sea.

    Miraculously, when I actually take the time to do it, if I take time to acknowledge the times that God used time differently in my life for his purposes, I am in awe of his providence.  In 1999, my grandmother fell into the Grand Canyon of Yellowstone National Park. She was 74 and newly recovered from heart surgery.  She had a new lease on life.  In an instant, the glue that held our family together was gone. For years, my family struggled with this life-altering loss, questioning why we couldn’t have her just a little longer.  Soon after her death, my grandfather became very ill.  This illness resulted in diabetes and dementia, which became very pronounced in 2008.  A few years after he died in 2010, we realized God’s plan. Despite our ongoing devastation, we realized that had my grandmother lived, she would have had to revisit the painful path of her mother’s battle with dementia.  Despite our protests, God knew she had endured enough wounds from that devastating disease. 

    In the past few years, I had a girl show up one day asking for biblical advice.  As it turned out, she is the step-daughter of a friend I have been praying for since high school.  I cannot express what a blessing this relationship has been to me.  I could never have dreamed of a better way for God to answer my prayers in his time (over 20 years later) and his way.

    And then, of course, there is 2020-year no one could have predicted.  In truth, we are all still somewhat unaware of what the complete shutdown of our daily activities did to us emotionally and spiritually.  Yet, we have to admit, this truly isolating and emotionally crushing year was used by God to work for our good (Romans 8:28).  While we made many mistakes (I know I did), we slowed down, appreciated what was important, and came together in a way we couldn’t have before. 

    Abraham’s wait for a son, Joseph’s sale and imprisonment, Israel’s enslavement(s) and wait for a messiah,  Christ’s wait for his ministry and wrongful execution- many heroes of the faith waited a long time for promises, some that were disappointing, and nothing like what they expected.  Why should my life be any different?  After all, Isaiah tells us, “For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, declares the Lord.  For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways are my thoughts than your thoughts” (Isaiah 55:8-9). 

    The success of my garden this year is shaky at best.  I may have to swallow my pride and buy a few plants in order to get some produce.  In any case, it won’t be as productive as I would like.  But one thing is sure,  I will continue to have experiences that don’t turn out the way I want-disappointments, unexpected complications, maybe even utter failure.  Despite the certain difficulties and suffering of this world, God’s garden is ALWAYS productive, no matter what we see.  Today I am praying I can rest in these words of Christ, “I have said these things so that in me you may have peace.  In the world you will have tribulation.  But take courage; I have overcome the world” (John 16:33).

  • Embracing the Journey: Learning to See God’s Plan in the Busyness of Life

    I am a lifelong hiker.  I have not hiked anything impressive, but I have always loved hiking.  And any vacation I take, I try to hike, even if it’s just a short one. Now, I’m not proud of this, but as a teen and young adult, hiking for me was more of a sport than a hobby. I loved it, but it was also a source of pride.  I was a runner, so sometimes I was invited on hikes that were more rigorous than other girls my age.  And I needed to reach the “summit” or destination quickly so that people would recognize that I was not just a hiker but an experienced one, someone who always reached the destination. So, when I worked in Yellowstone National Park the summer I graduated from high school, this need to prove myself got worse instead of better.  Many of the people working there were from all over the United States.  Since many of them were from states at lower elevations, they had a difficult time adjusting to the elevation of many of the hikes.  Again, I found myself needing to brand myself as the experienced Montana hiker, one who could do any hike without difficulty.  

    Now, over my years of hiking, I knew in the back of my mind that I was missing out.  My need to be the hiker who always reached my destination prevented me from one of the blessings of hiking, the scenery.  I was always so busy putting one foot in front of the other, I forgot to look around.  I knew it too.  I would tell myself, “You are so worried about reaching your goal that you never give yourself time to admire the view”. Now that I am 50, I finally feel like I am not competing.  I can finally hike just to hike.  I am even okay with doing part of a hike, no destination required. And I notice things. Just yesterday, I saw five different butterflies on a short hike with my family.  One of them fluttered around us for at least a quarter of a mile. I notice flowers, stop and watch a stream run, or observe a panoramic view of a nearby mountain range.  While I regret that I couldn’t appreciate these blessings when I was younger, I am grateful and relieved that God has helped me see his beauty in the journey, not just the destination. 

    Since I work in a high school, I am constantly multi-tasking.  I am answering questions from students and colleagues, reading emails from admin, and trying to grade the constant barrage of essays my students are writing. It is always when I have a new set of essays to go over when it happens: a student or colleague needs a listening ear.  They are having trouble at home, health issues, or parenting challenges. And my role is small.  I rarely have any great wisdom to impart or an important role to play.  They need my ear, my concern, or my prayers.  They need to know that I care, and more importantly God does. And maybe they need to hear a verse to affirm that. But just like my younger self, I can find myself so focused on the task at hand that I don’t fully focus on the person who needs me, or worse,  I don’t notice at all.  

    It is easy to forget.  Forget that God has me there for a reason, and that reason is not just to grade papers and complete tasks.  I am there to pray for and interact with the souls he brings into my circle every day. This reminds me of Micah 6:7-9, which says, “Will the Lord be pleased with thousands of rams, with ten thousands of rivers of oil?  Shall I give my firstborn for my transgression, the fruit of my body for the sin of my soul?” (Micah 6:7).  I can relate to this feeling.  I want to do impressive things.  Yes, for God, but also for others.  I want my students to be the best academically, and I want to be recognized for all of my hard work.  What does God want?  Micah tells us, “He has told you, O man, what is good; and what does the Lord require of you but to do justice, and to love kindness, and to walk humbly with your God” (Micah 6:8). I admit it.  This command seems simple and unimpressive.  In short, God wants me to do what Jesus did for much of his ministry, little things.  He wants me to notice individuals like the blind beggar or the woman at the well.  He wants me to show kindness and show his love and interest to those who don’t know him or need a reminder of his presence in a difficult time.  And I can’t do this when I am hyper-focused on accomplishing goals.  In Ephesians, Paul tells us, “ . . . we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them” (2:10). In the previous verse he reminded us that our salvation itself is “not a result of works so that no one may boast” (2:9).  So these “good works” are there for us as a part of his plan.  Our place?  To be aware enough to see the opportunities God places around us and to be his hands and feet to those around us. 

    Jesus was often criticized for spending his time on small, seemingly unimportant tasks.  He spent time with little children (Matthew 19:14), sought out the woman at the well (John 4), ate with tax collectors and sinners (Matthew 9:10-13), and cast demons out of outcasts (Matthew 8:28-34).  And no one on earth truly understood, even his disciples.Good thing Jesus gave small things and people importance.  The Bible even says, “There will be more rejoicing in heaven over one sinner who repents than over ninety-nine righteous persons who do not need to repent” (Luke 15:3-7). Thank you Lord for valuing small moments and small people, like me. 

    If I think about it, the most impactful moments in my walk with the Lord were found in small acts of faithful people.  People who sought me out when they didn’t have to.  People who mentored me during my college years, my single days, my battles with depression, or my days as a mother of young children. They noticed me and took an interest. Sometimes they imparted wisdom, but mostly they just took the time to care for and pray for me when I was feeling lost or insecure.  They took time away from their endless tasks and focused on me. And many of them I never thanked.  I was so wrapped up in my own difficulties, I barely noticed how much they helped until years later sometimes. And while that is sad in ways, I need to realize that God wants that from me as well, to take the time to see what divine opportunities he has for me in the midst of my temporary, earthly goals. 

  • Choosing Compassion in an Age of Reinvention

    Many people find it odd, but even though we love the quieter Montana life, my entire family loves exploring big bustling cities. Recently, we travelled to San Francisco, one of our favorites. The excitement, the smells, and the people watching never fail to deliver. As we navigated our way through Union Square, The Tenderloin, Golden Gate Park, and Haight Ashbury, I thought of the myriad of groups who have made their way to San Francisco over the years. The Forty-niners, the Beatniks, and the hippies all traveled there to, well, reinvent themselves. And while there are those who grew up there, the San Francisco streets still hold many individuals, from professionals to homeless, who are there to be just that, individuals. It only takes a few hours of wandering its streets to realize that you do not come to San Francisco to find prince charming and a white picket fence, you come there to embrace the appearance, beliefs, and lifestyle you always thought you wanted but didn’t dare to have in your hometown.

    We live in an age of reinvention. For decades, we have used lypo-suction, plastic surgery, and weight loss drugs to transform ourselves. In this age we go to therapy to “recover” from our religious upbringing, our toxic families, separating ourselves (sometimes completely) from the things that once made us us. And it doesn’t stop there. We are also encouraged to question traditional roles, all of them including sexuality and even the sex we were born with. It’s almost as if being sure of something-our faith, our family, our identity-is shameful.

    As a high school teacher, I am surrounded by reinvention. Each year I have the privilege of meeting a group of vastly different students. Many are devout and confident while others are grasping at anything that might give them peace-weight loss, the perfect tan or makeup routine, the right look, the perfect grades, the right boyfriend or girlfriend, Ivy League acceptance, freedom from parents, an alternative lifestyle or religion, and, yes, even a change in gender.

    The beauty of my job is that I don’t get a choice of who I interact with. These relationships are nothing less than acts of divine appointment. From the moment they step into my room, I can only pray that God gives me the wisdom to meet their needs-educationally, physically, emotionally-the best I can in the time I have with them, no matter who they are. So for me, each and every student who enters my classroom is an opportunity-an opportunity to learn, serve, and pray. And yes, many of them are uncomfortable in their own skin. What else would I expect in this confusing fallen world? Psalm 139:14 tells us, “I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Wonderful are your works; my soul knows it very well.” Regardless of how uncomfortable my students are in their own skin, I know how greatly God values each and every one of them. As a result, my time with them is a privilege. After all, who gets to interact with, serve, and pray for such a diverse population on a daily basis? Not many.

    After 27 years in public education, I have nothing but compassion for anyone in a phase of “reinvention” of any kind. I have read their journals. I have heard their stories. They have heard the condemnation, especially from the church. They have been shunned, bullied, and disowned. They have been sent to private schools, therapists, and treatment. And yes, some have been told they will go to hell and that they deserve to die, more often than you might think. And while some of these messengers may believe they were only spreading truth, the message these individuals received is “There is something wrong with you. There is no place for you in God’s kingdom.”

    A few years ago, our family unknowingly ran into the end of the pride parade in Seattle. Our kids were 5 and 8, so some of the things we saw that night were definitely disconcerting. The next morning, we cautiously walked out of our hotel to find the streets quiet, as if nothing had happened. As we started our adventure, we ran into a man with a sign. His sign had verses about the sin of homosexuality. We engaged him in conversation, and he said he was in Seattle for the month of June to “share the truth” with the LGBTQ+ community. Being as I was on vacation, I didn’t spend much time talking to him, but as someone who interacts with the community he was targeting daily, I definitely had a few thoughts:

    1. The LGBT+ community are people. When my son went to public high school, I told him the community he would be around “were just people.” The same goes for this community. You could hold a sign telling them they are wrong, or you could get a job in a coffee shop or a restaurant and get to know them. You might find that they actually are interested in God and his truth but can’t find a way to bridge the impassable gap they have been told is there between them and God.
    2. They don’t need you to side with them politically, they just need someone who cares. A few years ago, I had a transgender student who came to me in tears. She felt a certain teacher was singling her out. She was making her redo assignments for no reason, etc. . . . Now, whatever the perceptions of this student at the time, the irony of the situation was that this teacher’s blatant political leanings, which should have aligned her with this student, meant nothing. This student knew who cared, and that was who she relied on in a time of need.
    3. Sexual identity issues and gender dysphoria are serious and deep-rooted. Yes, some teens go through “phases”, but some have felt different from a very young age. To make matters worse, nuclear families are more and more rare. An average class roster for me indicates 5 of 20 students living with both of their biological parents.  This year 12.5% of my students had experienced trauma like the death of a parent, removal from the home for abuse or neglect, or intensive treatment for mental health issues. I am not God.  I have a few months with most of my students. My few months with them will change very little, or nothing at all.  This is what I know: I am where God wants me. I need to be faithful in service and prayer.  Discomfort is a part of life in a fallen world. To be “in the world” is to be around brokenness, our own and others’. 

    So, from someone who cares deeply about those in various phrases of “reinvention”, my question is “Who will we share the gospel with? Only those we are comfortable with?” My prayer is that, as believers, we move towards all people with compassion because as Romans 10 tells us, ” How then will they call on him in whom they have not believed? And how are they to believe in him of whom they have never heard? And how are they to hear without someone preaching? And how are they to preach unless they are sent? As it is written, ‘How beautiful are the feet of those who preach the good news!’  . . . For Isaiah says, ‘Lord, who has believed what he has heard from us?’17 So faith comes from hearing, and hearing through the word of Christ” (Romans 10:14-15). 

    I know that for many believers, this age of reinvention seems unprecedented.  It has thrown the church into the defense instead of the offense.  We want to protect our families so fiercely from these radical ideas that we almost excuse ourselves from passages like The Great Commission of Matthew 28 and the one above.  But as someone who is interacting with these groups daily, I am confident, as Paul said that God will continue his work of completion in all believers, including all of those he has called and is calling who are in some stage of reinvention.

  • Choosing “Faith over Fear” When I Fail to Find Heaven on Earth, Again

    Choosing “Faith over Fear” When I Fail to Find Heaven on Earth, Again

    Students in navy caps and gowns sitting and receiving diplomas at MHS Panthers 2024 graduation
    Graduates in caps and gowns receive diplomas during the MHS Panthers 2024 ceremony at the stadium.

    We do this every year, my colleagues and I. We support our current graduating class in the same arena where many of us walked across the stage. Same place, same weekend, same everything.  The truth, though? It’s been one of those years. While life is always unpredictable, this year’s trials seem especially senseless, especially for those I work with.  What began with a senseless attack on one of our colleagues was followed by two botched surgeries in the families of two of my colleagues. In the blink of an eye, a simple C-section and gallbladder removal turned life-threatening.  So along with missing a colleague whose life was upended indefinitely, these two families were dealing with lengthy hospital stays, financial setbacks, and cancelled plans.  We were all still reeling. It just didn’t seem fair.  I know, I know that life isn’t fair, ever, but some years feel more unsettling than others. And this year is one of them. 

    I am always amazed at how short-sighted I am. I can read the verses over and over about the brevity and unpredictability of our lives.  I even quote verses like, “All flesh is grass, and all its beauty if like the flower of the field” and “The grass withers, the flower fades, but the word of our God will stand forever” (Isaiah 40:6-8), but when it comes right down to it, I naively mourn every time flesh fails, mine or someone else’s. I expect everything to go as planned. I get excited when someone lowers my taxes and cringe when gas prices go up. Simply put, I live by sight and not by faith most of the time.  I don’t want to, but I do.  I spend so much time looking at the present and hoping in or mourning temporary victories and failures that I lose sight of eternity.  

    Years ago, I spent several years working at a treatment center for troubled teens.  On one particularly trying day requiring one behavioral intervention after another, I briefly ducked into our school psychologists office.  Dr. House was a rare breed, one who had devoted his life to the psychiatric care of the most troubled children.  I don’t remember the exact words, but I said something to the effect of “Have you seen what is going on out there?  It is out of control”. His response stopped me in my tracks: “That’s why it says, ‘I will lift up mine eyes to the hills’ (Psalm 121:1). We are not supposed to look around, we are supposed to look up.”  

    Even in years that seem mostly smooth sailing, someone somewhere is enduring a setback or flat-out suffering, many of them at no fault of their own. Deep down, I still want a life free of health issues, cruelty, financial setbacks, and any other difficulty.  The truth is, that will not be the case this side of heaven. Before his death, Jesus told his disciples, “I have told you these things so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble.  But take heart!  I have overcome the world” (John 16:33). Now, just like the Jews of his time, I would really like this “overcoming” to be a reduction in all pain and suffering right now.  But that isn’t the way it works. It requires what revelation calls “patient endurance”, the “patient endurance” to trust that an “eternal weight of glory” is waiting for us “as we look not to the things that are seen but to the things that are unseen” (2 Corinthians 4:18). 

    So, as I attended graduation this year, the sentiment was different.  A few important people were missing: some because of choices they or someone else made, and some because of pain and suffering caused by nothing more than life in an imperfect world. But as I watched my beloved students walk across that stage after a trying year, one boy I just met this year held a banner that said, “Faith Over Fear”. As cliche as that saying has become, the fact that this student who has endured more setbacks than I ever will can choose to “look up” in faith means that I can too. 

    After all, despite how rotten some of these setbacks are, they are truly just “light and momentary affliction(s)” as Paul calls it, that are “preparing for us an eternal weight of glory beyond all comparison” (2 Corinthians 4:17). Thanks be to God. 

  • A Writer’s New Year Prayer

    black text on gray background
    Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com

    In this New Year

    Full of hope and promise

    Questions and uncertainty

    The wisdom to know that the only writing that will bring you glory flows from your streams of

    mercy

    Give me the wisdom to pray first and write second

    That all efforts outside of you are “filthy rags” (Isaiah 64:6)

    The wisdom to follow you alone

    Not aimlessly pursuing every editor call or chance at recognition

    As a child, “tossed back and forth by the waves” (Ephesians 4:14)

    Knowing that interruptions involving my children, my spouse, my students, or my friends

    Are not a hindrance but ordained opportunities to

    “Consider others better than (myself)” or my writing goals (Philippians 2:3)

    The wisdom to follow your plan for me

    Instead of the newest blogging recipe pushed out onto Facebook or Twitter

    The plan made by you to whom I am

    “Fearfully and wonderfully made” (Psalm 139:14) and

    The plan that includes “hope and a future” (Jeremiah 29:11)

    Whether I ever publish my first book

    Or see my articles reach the world

    May my words be yours

    Amen

  • Trusting Christ During the Post-Christmas Let Down and Beyond

    It never ceases to amaze me how quickly it all ends.  We spend weeks, even months getting ready, and then in one day, it is all over.  The beautifully decorated tree with colorful gifts we have carefully bought, wrapped, and anticipated for months becomes a beautifully decorated tree we have to decide when to take down, pack away, and clean up after. As a child, I remember dealing with a fairly intense depression every year when the presents were gone and the family members had gone home to their various lives.  It was difficult for me, staring out at a barren Montana January (and February) after all of that holiday excitement. 

    The truth is, the holidays are more commercial than I want them to be.  Yes, we make an effort to give Advent a significant place in the season; yes, we go to Christmas Eve service and acknowledge Christ’s birth on Christmas day, but I still buy into the Hallmark lie that the Christmas “spirit” is about small towns, decorations, gifts, and new first loves. And I have to admit that I am sad when it is over and “real life” comes in.  Sure, a little time off is nice, but the cleaning, decluttering, and planning for school to start again come way too quickly. The post-Christmas let down is just a glimpse of the fleeting nature of our earthly lives. We are way too earthly-minded in general, not just at Christmas. 

    It is easy to go through this life with blinders on.  We are so busy worrying about chores, kids, money, and planning for our future, not in heaven but here on earth.  And yes, planning is important, but in God’s eyes our entire life is but a “vapor”.  Even in Isaiah 40, a chapter about the coming of Christ, the prophet reminds us:

    “All flesh is grass,

        and all its beauty[d] is like the flower of the field.

    The grass withers, the flower fades

        when the breath of the Lord blows on it;

        surely the people are grass.

    The grass withers, the flower fades,

        but the word of our God will stand forever” (Isaiah 40:6-8).

    This world we spend so much energy trying to conquer with money, reputation, and other earthly successes is fleeting. And while it seems like a lifetime is a long time, to God, “With the Lord a day is like a thousand years, and a thousand years are like a day” (2 Peter 3:8). To him, our lives are like the Christmas season: something we take a lot of time to build up materially only to disappear in an instant.  

    Our skewed perspective during the holidays is reminiscent of the first Christmas. The oppressed Jewish people hoped for a savior.  And just like us, they expected material results: freedom from unjust rule, exorbitant taxes, and general mistreatment.  And who could blame them?  If I heard the prophecy from Isaiah saying “. . .and the government shall be upon his shoulder” and “ . . .Of the increase of his government and of peace there will be no end” (Isaiah 9:6-7), I would think the same thing, especially if I lived under oppressive Roman rule. What did they get? A poor baby born to young nobodies in a stable. Yes, a few got it: some shepherds and wise men from a foreign land.  But as John tells us, “He came to his own, and his own people did not receive him” (1:11). Don’t we do the same? We fall for the lie that this Christless spirit of Christmas will somehow lift us out of our anxious, empty lives.  The lie that if we decorate enough and spread the “Christmas spirit” to others enough, we will summon some sort of Christless hope to draw from.  

    The problem isn’t the gift we were given.  The gift is complete.  It was complete two thousand years ago,  and it is complete now. As Paul writes in Colossians, “For in him the whole fullness of deity dwells bodily, and you have been filled in him, who is the head of all rule and authority” (2:9-10). The problem is our desires are not God’s.  When Jesus comforts the disciples in John 14, he says, “Peace I leave with you; my peace I give to you. Not as the world gives do I give to you. Let not your hearts be troubled, neither let them be afraid” (John 14:27). The Jewish world of Jesus’ time was just like us.  They wanted physical power to end their suffering.  We want instant gratification, reprieve from a world full of anxiety, fear, and emptiness. We don’t want to seek a God who has made himself available to us just to learn that his peace is in our hearts amidst worldly trials, not in the form of immediate relief from injustice or hardship.  Does he care about inflation, health issues, family drama, or the rise in anxiety or depression?  Absolutely.  But just like for the Jews living under Roman rule, he came not promising to free us from the trials of living in a fallen world, but to transcend them with a “peace that passes all understanding” (Philippians 4:7). 

    Lord, help me enter into this new year seeking you and your peace alone, trusting you to sustain me in this life until your return.

  • The Importance of Weeding Our Spiritual Gardens

    I would call myself a closet gardener. Growing up I read all of the Christian romances involving homesteaders.  I love growing and making my own food.  As I teach full time during the school year, however, I don’t always put the time into my garden that I need to.  To add to my responsibilities this year, I chose not to use round up around my garden beds to cut down on the weeds.  Now, while I never used Round Up in the bed itself, keeping the weeds down around the beds was much easier with the popular chemical. I did try a natural concoction for weeds, but its results are few and far between. So, this summer, I find myself weeding one little section at a time, and trying not to be overwhelmed by all of the other little sections I don’t have time or energy to get to. 

    The Christian life is like a garden without Round Up. Sure, it would be nice if we could hose down our lives with a spiritual chemical that kept our keenness to the Spirit’s leading up and our affinity towards sin down, but it doesn’t work that way.  There is a reason the Lord’s Prayer says “Give us this day our daily bread” (Matthew 6:11) and the psalmist speaks of the encountering God each “morning” (Psalm 5:3, 30:9, 59:16, 143:8). We have to seek the Lord and “weed out” sin, doubt, and fear each morning.  There is no other way.

    My husband and I often talk about our efforts to remain connected as a couple. He would often joke that he wished he could make a grand effort in our marriage once a month so he could focus on work and other things.  This approach, however, does not work.  Just like in our relationship with God, our relationship with our spouse requires constant attention.  To check out for days, or longer, will result in damage, damage that is sometimes irreparable. We must make an effort to communicate and spend quality time together. Date nights and frequent communication are not easy, especially with busy work schedules and the demands of raising children.

    Just like we can’t compartmentalize our commitment to our marriage, we can’t compartmentalize our relationship with God. Psalm 5 says, “In the morning Lord you hear my voice; in the morning I lay my requests before you and wait expectantly” (5:3), and Isaiah tells us, “My soul yearns for you in the night; in the morning my spirit longs for you” (26:9).  Clearly, different daily schedules lead to a variety of methods used to connect with God daily. Some may get up at 5 am to have a quiet time while others pray while running or showering. A stay at home parent may use nap time as a time for devotion. Regardless of how and when we do it, connecting with God is a must in order to “take up our cross daily” (Matthew 16:24) and to reduce anxiety in an anxiety-ridden world. (Philippians 4:6-7).

    Holy Spirit, guide me to seek you in the word and prayer daily that I may “live in the spirit” as Galatians 5:16 instructs because “ . . . all who are led by the spirit of God are sons of God” (Romans 8:14).

  • Embracing the Summer Storm: A Spiritual Reflection

    As we speak, I am standing at my front door observing a summer storm. The clouds are rolling in, explaining why my back hurt today, the thunder is clapping, and the rain drops are getting bigger, slapping the ground like a toddler’s flat feet. It brings me such peace. Yes, there is the possibility the it could bring hail or contain high winds or a tornado even, but it brings me peace none the same, the feeling that I can do absolutely nothing to change what is about to happen, just take shelter. 

    To me, a storm speaks to the character of God. He calls us and moves as he pleases through this broken and confusing world.  And while Romans 8 assures us that “ . . . all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose” (8:28), he rarely acts in accordance with our finite expectations. We strive for worldly accolades while he allows us to fail and struggle as he brings us to a place of reliance on him. We scramble to keep our children safe at all costs while he allows them to suffer and grow in their faith (2 Peter 1:5-7). We pray for our friend to come to know Jesus while he calls our enemies. In truth, as we live out our years on this Earth, we learn more and more that what Isaiah writes is true:For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, declares the Lord. For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts (Isaiah 55:8-9). 

    And why would we want it to be any different? What kind of God would do what we expect when we expect it?  What kind of God would be easy to understand and explain?  Not ours.  Therefore, Paul tells the Romans, “Oh, the depth of the riches and wisdom and knowledge of God! How unsearchable are his judgments and how inscrutable his ways!” (11:33). Now, don’t get me wrong.  I want a predictable life: a life I can control, full of anything but surprises.  But I don’t want a God like that. I want the God who is assembling “a great multitude that no one could number, from every nation, from all tribes and people and languages, standing before the throne and before the Lamb, clothed in white robes, with palm branches in their hands” (Revelation 7:9). 

    In a world of uncertainty, it is certainly understandable that many of us want predictability.  And God gives us that.  He is always with us, strengthening us until the day of salvation.  Phenomena like a summer storm, however, remind us that while God is there for us in our weaknesses, he is always doing “more than we could ask or imagine” (Ephesians 3:20), bringing together a kingdom only he can with a power we cannot contain. 

  • Light in the Darkness

    Light is a funny thing.  The sun comes up every morning, even bringing excessive brightness or heat at certain times of the year. It is a constant until you go without it for a while. Now, I do not live in Alaska, but we do have pretty good winters in Montana, and this year was a doozy. For the majority of February, our temps were below zero every day.  Last week, we had a few days below -20.  With the added darkness of the winters here, the weather was in a word: oppressive. And then just like that, the high was above zero, above 30, and today, above 50.  And everything changed. We could see the days getting longer, and all of a sudden we could appreciate the beauty of the snow on our beautiful “rimrocks”, and light.  What a difference a little bit of light makes. 

    The Bible is full of references to light. The first reference is of course the light in Genesis 1:3, God’s first act of creation.  Without light, the earth would be covered with darkness, making all of the rest of creation null and void.  One of the plagues Moses was ordered to place upon Egypt was darkness. Exodus 10 tells us,   “‘Then the Lord said to Moses, ‘Stretch out your hand toward heaven, that there may be darkness over the land of Egypt, a darkness to be felt.’  So Moses stretched out his hand toward heaven, and there was pitch darkness in all the land of Egypt for three days.  They did not see one another, nor did anyone rise from his place for three days, but all the people of Israel had light where they lived” (Exodus 10:21-23, ESV).  Darkness prevents sight. While this gave the Israelites a chance to gain freedom from oppression, spiritual darkness prevents us from seeing God’s truth.  Isaiah 42 tells us, “I am the Lord:  I have called you in righteousness; I will take you by the hand and keep you; I will give you as a covenant for the people; a light for the nations, to open eyes that are blind, to bring out the prisoners from the dungeon, from the prison those who sit in darkness” (42: 6-7, ESV). Despite our seemingly comfortable lives, we are all vulnerable to darkness without Christ.  We cannot see our own sin or God’s view of the world around us without his spirit. Jesus told the Pharisees, “I am the light of the world. Whoever follows me will not walk in darkness, but will have the light of life” (John 8:12, ESV). 

    Not only are we completely reliant on Christ to see clearly, but we are expected to shine his light in this fallen world. Psalm 119 says, “Your word is a lamp to my feet and a light to my path” (119:105). The verses following show the Psalmist’s suffering.  He laments “I am severely afflicted” and “The wicked have laid a snare for me” (119: 107a, 110a, ESV). In both cases, he mentions how God’s word sustains him saying, “give me life, according to your word” (119: 107, ESV). It doesn’t take much to notice that the world we live in is in turmoil.  Whether it be wars among countries, political unrest within our country, general suffering, financial struggles, or mental illness, darkness is all around us. And while we are to cling to the light of God’s word, we are also to display that light to others.  In the sermon on the mount, Christ commands us to be the salt and light of the world. He does not say “Please be the light”, he says “You are the light of the world.  A city on a hill cannot be hidden . . . let your light shine before others, so that they may see your good words and give glory to your Father who is in heaven” (Matthew 5: 14, 16, ESV). 

    As citizens of a crazy world, there are a myriad of obstacles that prevent us from shining our light. If we are honest, we are afraid.  We are faced with many disconcerting issues.  Whether it is the disintegration of the family and traditional gender roles, the devaluing of human life, or the attack on Judeo-Christian values, we don’t know what to think.  Instead of boldly shining our light, we tend to want to shrink back from this world that seems to delve further and further in darkness.  We create a little circle of like-minded allies, seeking to have as little contact with our neighbors living in darkness. Let’s be honest.  We know that we were commanded to shine our light, but we are tempted to say, “But God, you haven’t seen what is happening!  I think the world is too far gone for you to save anyone”. Prior to his ascension, Jesus tries to explain that he will leave and his disciples will scatter. The disciples could not truly grasp what Jesus was telling them about this drastic change. In their minds, they had no concept of doing this ministry without him.  To comfort them, he said, “I have said these things to you, that in me you may have peace.  In the world, you will have tribulation.  But take heart; I have overcome the word” (John 16:33, ESV). Not only would they have to go on without his physical presence, but they would be scattered throughout the known world. 

    Like the disciples, we are easily frightened.  While we have the Holy Spirit, something they didn’t yet have, we don’t always know what to do with the people around us who think and live differently than us.  The truth?  The world around us lacks hope. As a public school teacher, I see it every day. They are struggling to find purpose in a world that just “happened” without a creator.  As a result, the only significance they have is what they can accomplish.  No wonder they are so easily swayed by any myriad of identities and ideologies floating around.  The truth? They desperately need a light we often withhold because of our discomfort with their life choices.  
    Jonah was in a similar boat, or a whale, to be exact.  He was told to go to Nineveh and “ . . . call out against it, for their evil has come up before me [God]” ) (Jonah 1:2, ESV).  Instead of obeying God, he fled to Tarshish (Jonah 1:3, ESV).  Now, why Jonah fled is not explicitly stated.  Ligonier Ministries suggests that he abhorred the people there and didn’t want them to repent.  The article “Jonah’s Anger” suggests, “We are too much like Jonah, hoping God will crush our enemies instead of saving them” (Ligonier Ministries, 2013). Miraculously, the extremely corrupt people of Nineveh “believed God” (Nineveh 3:5, ESV). And God intends to save many more people, some we thought would never come to him. Matthew 24 prophesies, “And this gospel of the kingdom will be proclaimed throughout the whole world as a testimony to all nations, and then the end will come” (Matthew 24:14, ESV). While we as Christians are increasingly uncomfortable with the direction our world (and society) is headed, we are called to shine the light of Christ until he comes. Rather than run from those that we disagree with, may we willingly find ways to sail (or walk) into the places in our community that need his light more than ever. Who knows? God may have a brother or sister waiting there for us.

  • My Own Unexpected Journal

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    Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com

    I’m surprised I even recognized the name.  It had been years: more than ten, if my calculations are correct.  Not to mention the number of students I had taught since I had him: hundreds? Nevertheless, I recognized the last name and clicked on it.  Sure enough, this girl had married him, my former student. We weren’t particularly close: I don’t “friend” my former students, and I have zero idea what mutual contacts this girl and I had, but there she was, nonetheless.  One click revealed a breath-taking wedding photograph behind the font reading “Jesus is King”! This detail was particularly important because, while I had a few outspoken Chritian students that year, he was definitely not one of them.  In fact, he openly voiced opposition to Christianity and any activities surrounding it. I know this because one weekend I saw him at an Easter egg hunt put on by a local church.  He was helping, so I sincerely asked him if he attended that church.  His response was a hasty “no” followed by an explanation that he was only there because his uncle convinced him to volunteer for that event. 

    And that was the extent of our interactions, other than that of student and teacher.  Okay, well that was MOST of it.  The years I taught him was what I call my “Praying Period”. A history of depression, the emotional challenges of teaching at-risk teens, getting married, having babies while working full time, and struggling with postpartum depression had laid the groundwork.  My motto was, “If you don’t know what to do, pray”.  And those years had left me with a lot of unanswered questions, so I prayed.  I periodically took my journal to a coffee shop and began with thanksgiving, then family, and of course, my students.  Now, 100 students a year, every year, is too many to pray for, but I remembered something Louie Giglio said to me at a college retreat years ago.  I had asked him how to know who to talk to, pray for, etc . . . He said something like, “Sometimes I don’t engage anyone.  I speak to those I feel God wants me to speak to”. With the busyness of my life, I had to trust that the names of students that came to mind were those I was meant to pray for.  As a result, I always ended with a list of students’ names I felt called to bring before God. I can’t explain why, but this boy’s name was often on the list that year, and off and on for the next few years. 

    Now, prayer is one of those mysteries we can’t fully understand.  We pray with all sorts of motives, some pure and some selfish.  Despite our weaknesses, we are commanded, however, to “Rejoice always, pray without ceasing, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you” (1 Thessalonians 5:16-18). In addition, we are assured that not only is Jesus interceding for us (Hebrews 7:25), but the Holy Spirit as well.  Romans 8 tells us “ . . . the Spirit helps us in our weakness. For we do not know what to pray for as we ought, but the spirit himself intercedes with us for groanings too deep for words.  And he who searches hearts knows what is the mind of the spirit because the spirit intercedes for the saints according to the will of God” (Romans 8:26-27). And while I wasn’t praying in order to get lightning bolt answers, there were a few signs that God was hearing my prayers at that time.  I remember I was working closely with our addiction counselor at the time.  We had many students in common and collaborated the best we could.  That particular year, she told me that her mid-year addiction survey showed our school’s reported drug use was down, while both of the other high schools’ reported use was up.  That and all of the strength and answers to prayer with my family at that time let me know that God was listening.  At the same time, I, regrettably, did not expect God to just work in a student’s heart, especially not one who opposed him adamantly. 

    Now, we cannot know God’s will.  As Isaiah 55 says, “For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways”. All we can do is act in obedience, trusting that “for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose” (Romans 8:28).  And while I would love to know when and how God will answer my prayers, this recent unexpected find on Facebook has inspired me to pray for all those God brings to mind.  After all, one student’s miraculous conversion is enough to keep me going. 

  • One Voice, One Hope

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    My latest post for encourage about unity in the body of Christ