The Truth? Not today.

When my son was in kindergarten, he lied, not just a few times, but frequently. At least once every few weeks, he would tell us a tall tale about what happened to his lost glove, lunch box, etc . . . He was 5-years-old, and he didn’t want us to be mad or disappointed, so he lied. A few times we figured it out, and a few times the teacher confirmed that what we were told was not true. I’ll admit, at the time it was bothersome. After all, who wants their child to be a liar? Lying is a sin. Thank God, that pattern didn’t last long, but it was difficult for us to swallow. If he felt like he had to lie, why, and for how long would this last? Now, I’m not saying my boys are 100% truthful, who is? But, I am happy to report that my son outgrew that phase of constant story-telling and is now a responsible 12-year-old middle school student. I am not so sure, however, that we, as Christians, are really proponents of truth in general. Do we want our children to lie to us? No, of course not, but do we really want the cold, hard truth in many cases? Apparently not.

I was confronted by this the other day while visiting with a friend. As she shared a conviction she was struggling with, I found myself focusing on the behavior, not the heart of the issue. The truth? I wanted her to tell me what I wanted to hear, so I wouldn’t have to deal with the fact that she is really struggling with her faith and that this is affecting her life in every way. I find this in myself a lot: mental illness, sexual identity or promiscuity, crises of faith-do I really want people to be honest about these things? It is much nicer if they just pretend that everything is fine. The truth is, simply, too messy. As a high school teacher, I don’t want to know everything about my students. Yes, I know quite a bit because I am their writing teacher, which means they tell me some personal details, but I don’t really want to know what they watch, listen to or do on the weekends. Why? Being a teenager is hard, and they are doing, watching, and listening to things I wouldn’t approve of at times. I have, at times, “jokingly” asked them to stop sharing because they are “losing their halo” I have metaphorically placed on their heads, just to preserve my sanity.

Now, I may have to prevent myself from knowing everything about my students because, well, I have to teach sometime, but I do need to ask myself, “Am I really a proponent of the truth?” Do I see people as God sees them? Am I truly wanting to get to the heart of the matter with people like Christ with the woman at the well or Zacchaeus? Do I have God’s eyes that told Samuel,“Do not look on his appearance or on the height of his stature, because I have rejected him. For the Lord sees not as man sees: man looks on the outward appearance, but the Lord looks on the heart” (1 Samuel 16:7). I think in most cases, I really just want people to be okay. I don’t want to know their deepest fears or insecurities because it is too uncomfortable, too inconvenient. The problem is not that this desire for comfort makes me selfish. The problem is that, without the admission of truth, no one, including me, can confess sin, accept forgiveness, or be reconciled with God and others. So, when I encourage others to “keep up appearances” I am hindering the gospel, plain and simple. Lord, help me hold out the truth. As Christ told his followers,  “If you abide in my word, you are truly my disciples, ³² and you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free” (John 8: 31).