The Challenge of #Gospel Love

Recently, my devotions have had me reading in 1 John.  The truth?  This book has always been a tough one for me. Tough verses such as, “No one who abides in him keeps on sinning; no one who keeps on sinning has either seen him or known him.” (3:6), or how about “If anyone says, ’I love God’, and hates his brother, he is a liar” (3:20), and “Do not love the world or the things in the world. If anyone loves the world, the love of the Father is not in him” (2:15).  Ouch.  I’ll admit it.  I prefer other verses that don’t remind me of my glaring depravity.  1 John does that again and again.

The verses I focused on recently were in chapter 3, regarding love. Love is a nice topic, right?  It seems like, while there are many things we can disagree on, love seems pretty safe.  Not in 1 John.  Just like the other chapters, 1 John calls us out on loving God’s way, not ours.  We like to love who we want when we want.  As Matthew 5 explains, “. . . love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you . . . If you love those who love you, what reward will you get? Are not even the tax collectors doing that. . . . Be perfect, therefore, as your heavenly father is perfect” (5:44-48).  Whew!  Can’t we just talk about the love I’m comfortable with-namely, loving when it’s convenient?  Why is gospel love so demanding?

If I’m honest, love is a challenge for me right now.  Yes, I am starting to feel less shocked, less angry, than I did during the time of intense lockdown, unrest, and political divide, but the residue of those intense emotions-many I’m not proud of-is still there, smudging my attitude and actions.  Most of the time it’s too hard to think about, so I just keep my feelings bottled up-anger at those who disagree with me on how COVID is being handled, the protests, the election, and politics in general.  I am still pouting about the activities I can’t participate in, the trips I can’t take, the unidentifiable weight I feel. 

In short, I have a lot of repenting to do.  And while many of the sins I need to repent of I’m not even aware of.  What I do know, is that I feel that tightening in my chest, that knot in my stomach, when people say things I don’t like, and until I confess my sins of hate-yes, I said it, hate-for those who I feel have restricted or are restricting the life I want to live, I cannot love, not Biblically. 

So, as society continues to open up-a recovery of sorts-my prayer is that God will soften my heart, let me see all of the sin I am still holding onto from this past year, help me repent-however feebly- and lead me to love, not those that are easy to love, but those who I feel are opposing me and everything I believe in.  Only then, can I begin to show the kind of sacrificial love Christ showed, the love he intends.