Carried Along

“I don’t do that peace thing,” he told me matter-of-factly. No people-pleasing from this student. That day the class was asked to find a Martin Luther King, Jr. quote and illustrate it.  Instead of sitting in silent defiance like students often do, he told me how he truly felt.  He was a bit agitated, expecting me to be indignant, a student refusing to do an assignment, but I wasn’t.  If there’s one thing I love about teenagers, it’s honesty.  Sneakiness, lying, those are not my favorite traits, but honesty, whether I agree with it or not, is so refreshing.  So, I accepted his decision, respected it even, and moved on.  It took a lot of maturity for a 15 year-old to tell me he didn’t believe in the assignment, and I know better than to argue with teenagers.  For him, a victim of emotional abuse by his own family and a victim of racism his entire life, the peaceful path was useless.  From his perspective, the peaceful pursuit of justice would change nothing. 

Peace.  It’s such a popular word, but if we’re honest, a lot of us actually feel like my student.  We’re just too afraid to say it.  Instead of wanting peace for all mankind, we promote our side of the current social storm and disregard those we disagree with.  We want peace on our terms. Peace that makes us comfortable. Every year we celebrate Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. in January.  We have marches, assemblies and school lessons about him and his legacy.  But in our current world, his logical, determined fight for peace does not get the reaction we want. In his “I Have a Dream” speech, MLK says, “In the process of gaining our rightful place, we must not be guilty of wrongful deeds.  Let us not seek to satisfy our thirst for freedom by drinking from the cup of bitterness and hatred.  We must forever conduct our struggle on the high plane of dignity and discipline.”’ Wow.  How boring!  No wonder we (and by “we” I mean all Americans) say we love him but abandon his ideals in the name of “protests” and uncontrolled social media statements, seeking “likes” more than the peace he had in mind. 

Those on many sides of the argument are at fault. Those unaffected by police brutality and racism want to be left alone; they don’t want to be bothered by the suffering around them. Some of those that sympathize with George Floyd and family want justice for those suffering from police brutality but not cops or shop owners. Those who can’t conduct business or go about their lives because of unrest just want punishment for the rioters but not necessarily justice. And Christians, especially those not directly involved in any of it, want to spout their opinions about complicated situations they do not understand. They just want social media attention, people patting them on the back for being understanding while they are ignoring the hard work of fighting injustice in their own neighborhoods, schools and towns.

Even today, as George Floyd’s brother spoke out against the rioters, his message will fall on many deaf ears because the mob mentality will often win, and the violence and firestorm of opinions on the new and social media will continue because it is so much easier to be loud and angry than to be part of the solution. In the end, we continue to fulfill this verse, “And this is the judgment: the light has come into the world, and people loved darkness rather than the light because their works were evil” (John 3:19). So, what are we to do? Even the definition of the word “peace” is different for different people. How can we move forward?

This quest for peace is an age-old problem.  The Jews wanted Jesus to be the political leader they needed to achieve justice for them in their time of oppression.  Even in that time, the “peace” they wanted was unachievable.  Jesus tried to explain it to them saying, “Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you.  I do not give to you as the world gives.  Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid” (John 14:27).  And now, in a time of deafening anger and discord, even in the church, Jesus’ message is the same. He alone can give peace.  Any other message is a lie.  We are to seek him humbly, follow his example, and share his true, “peace of God which surpasses all understanding” (Philippians 4:7) in our daily lives.  This message of peace which starts in the individual heart and mind and will largely consist of the relationships we have in our own communities (however large or small) will not generate as much attention on the news or social media, but it is the only peace that will last.  So, as we attempt to move forward may we be “quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry” (James 1:19) as we focus on sharing the gospel of forgiveness and reconciliation for all people in our every day lives, not based on a political person or movement but in the person of Jesus Christ.

Lord,  It seems like the world is engulfed in flames

The flames of fear and hatred

So far unable to be contained

Please bring a refreshing shower of peace

Cause the churches closest to the flames to

“  . . . do justice, love kindness and walk humbly” (Micah 6:8)

As you have commanded

Give them your protection, wisdom, and words

To proclaim your gospel of peace in this seemingly endless firestorm

Cause us, your broader church, to “not be anxious about anything but . . .

(make our) requests be made known to God” (Philippians 4:6)

Do not allow us to be indifferent or judgmental as we sit a safe distance from the flames

But show us instead how we can promote peace and justice

in our own towns, neighborhoods, and schools

Knowing that you expect us to promote justice for the “widows and orphans” of all races and

Socio-economic classes in our lives

Let us know that while we may not be called to fight the large fires igniting on our

screens and social media

that you are calling us to fight small fires every day as they cross our paths

And as we seek to promote your peace and kingdom, may we remember to speak the

“truth in love”(Ephesians 4:15) knowing that you are still on your throne

even when a smokey haze seems to dim your brilliance

Finally, may we hold fast to the promise that while there will always be a blaze

somewhere in this fallen world, one day soon you will wipe away “every tear . . . and

death shall be no more, neither shall there be Mourning, nor crying, nor pain anymore”

(Revelation 21:2-4)

Amen

It seems so strange; I can’t believe it’s been 4 whole years. You see, while for you, this is the culmination of your public school career, it is a milestone of sorts for me too. Four years ago I became a Bronc just like you. And this is the most former students I’ve ever had in one graduating class before. So, I voluntarily wore that suffocating “rubber” mask and used much more hand sanitizer than I prefer to breathe in not because I am a good Samaritan-I’m sure you are shocked- but because I needed to say “goodbye,” and the opportunities for this were bit limited this year. And, hopefully, I didn’t mess up your cap decorations helping you get your mask on.

As I watched you walk across that stage today, I was flooded with memories. Wow! You were quite the freshman class! Smart, loud, fun, energetic, definitely mischievous. What a ride! I will say that teaching you was never dull. And over these past few years, I’ve so enjoyed watching you grow into the excellent “young adults” you are today. If I were to choose one word to define your class, it would definitely be “fighters”. In the last 3 years, you have weathered many storms: accidents, injuries, illnesses, surgeries, set backs, failures (and successes), divorces, break-ups, tragedies, difficult home lives and silent battles you fought all alone. In the end, you never gave up. Your feistiness I may have battled a bit when you were 14 definitely served you well as you fought past any adversity to achieve this goal.

So, while you are given credit by the media and others for being the class who survived the Corona Virus, I know that you survived so much more. While this truly has been a trying time, some of you were already fighting much bigger battles. Yes, we all celebrated a bit today just because we got to be together when others weren’t allowed; Some of you celebrated achieving high honors, and some of you simply celebrated doing something people (family, teachers, even you) weren’t sure you would accomplish. So, I would like to say, “Congratulations” and “Hats off to you”. I am truly sad I missed seeing you these last few months, and I know you are going to do great things.

twitter.com/mymollymontana/status/1266116668335419392

I am not a fan of change. I never have been. I don’t want people to leave, dynamics to change, kids (or adults) to age, none of it. As a high school teacher, I grieve the loss of my students at the end of every semester and rejoice at the few I get to keep. But as this truly unexplainable school year comes to a close, I am at a loss as to how to cope with the loss of my students when I can’t even say goodbye except through a post on Google Classroom. Oh, I could make a video or write a poem, but honestly, my emotions are too raw, too uncomfortable to share in poetry. I don’t want to embarrass them, and I hate seeing myself on video. Plus, I’m not sure how important it is for them to see me cry, which is inevitable if I attempt that type of closure. So, I will end the school year with a lame post about how sad I am that I didn’t get to spend these last 8-10 weeks with them; I will tell them I’m sorry for any suffering they’ve endured during this quarantine and ask them to come and see me next year. And I will be left feeling heart-broken, incomplete.

Even yesterday, my son recorded some songs for a “virtual” violin recital. He took a shower and dressed up, as instructed. And he was excited, like he usually is for his recital, but it only took minutes for the excitement to wear off. Sure, there was the perk that he could play the song several times in order to get it right, but that energy of playing for an audience was not there. There is just something about gathering together with others for church, recitals, the last day of school, graduation. We are social people, so when we are physically alone, it is hard to duplicate the feeling of “togetherness”. People are trying. Drive up church services, zoom meetings, . . . but the truth is that things have changed, and some things have changed forever. My state has very few cases of COVID-19 right now, but people are still wearing masks and gloves, steering clear of others in stores (and even outside), even refusing to see their own family members. Call it what you will, but it isn’t just change, it is rejection. And it hurts. My children are afraid to ask their friends to hang out, knowing some will not or cannot meet. And just because there is an explanation for these actions does not make the feeling of rejection any less.

When this COVID-19 quarantine began, I kept telling my students that this will not last forever. There are even signs in yards saying, “This too will pass”. While this is true, this feeling of general fear, justified or not, is here to stay, for a while anyway. Things have changed, changed more than I want to admit. When will it end? I have no idea. Some of these changes may become permanent, and I, for one, don’t like it.

Recently, my son read a book called Good Omens by Neil Gaiman. It is about an angel and demon who work together to prevent Armageddon from happening. They both get into trouble with their respective “bosses” for tampering with a prophesy, something that has to happen. I watched some of the Amazon series based on the book this week, and I felt very convicted. Just like my best friend used to tell me, “Change is good, it lets you know you’re alive”, the Bible is full of change, uncomfortable change, change God has used and will use to carry out his purposes, even Armageddon. The flood, Joseph and Daniel’s captivity, the Israelite’s slavery and desert wanderings, Job’s almost unbearable suffering, and, yes, the crucifixion itself. All of these uncomfortable changes were a necessary part of God’s perfect plan to bring about his kingdom. Without them, our salvation, our only hope, would not exist. Just as the angel and demon in this book want to save the world, we want to save what we have because we fear change, plain and simple. Good or bad, we want things to stay the same.

Every year has changes, some we like and some we could live without. This year has brought a deluge of change, and the flood isn’t over yet. These adjustments to our jobs, schedules, relationships,social lives, etc . . . are uncomfortable, even devastating. Despite the discomfort we are feeling, some of us more than others, we can rest assured that God is not only aware (and has allowed) these life-altering events to take place but using them to accomplish his purposes right now. May we rest knowing that the God of the Bible is Lord of all, even in these uncertain times.

As Isaiah 55:9-11 states:

As the heavens are higher than the earth,
    so are my ways higher than your ways
    and my thoughts than your thoughts.

 As the rain and the snow
    come down from heaven,
and do not return to it
    without watering the earth
and making it bud and flourish,
    so that it yields seed for the sower and bread for the eater,

So is my word that goes out from my mouth:
    It will not return to me empty,
but will accomplish what I desire
    and achieve the purpose for which I sent it.

Twenty-two years ago I began my teaching career. Naive and enthusiastic, I entered the classroom every day, ready to “change the world”. I tutored students needing to retake the graduation exam, mentored in my church youth group, coached cheer leading; you name it, I did it. That Spring, my first Spring as a official teacher, something tragic happened. It was April of 1999, and two students in Colorado carefully planned to murder their classmates. Thirteen people died in their attack, less than they had planned because their home made bombs didn’t detonate. We were in shock. Schools became vigilant, looking into anyone they felt might try to copy the actions of these two killers. Almost as soon as I started my career, my rose-colored glasses were shattered. No longer were schools safe-havens. .

Fast-forward to 2012, the year my oldest son started Kindergarten. Tragically, despite many grand efforts to protect schools with School Resource Officers and locked doors, a young man in Connecticut managed to get into a locked-down elementary school and kill 26 people. That year I found myself in a true dilemma. For 12 years, I knew the dangers of teaching in a high school. I was prepared to do all I could to protect my students in an attack. Now, I found myself not only worried about myself facing death on the job, but my innocent five-year-old could also be a target, just like those first graders at Sandy Hook. I remember visiting a psychologist friend of mine that year, admitting the excessive anxiety that plagued me thinking about my baby boy facing the dangers of evil in the world. I was, I’ll admit, a mess. He encouraged me to dive into scripture and rely on God and his word during this time of anxiety, and slowly, I began to accept that my children would also go out into a dangerous world, one I was powerless to control.

This year we face a different kind of threat, COVID-19. Silent and potentially deadly, states have resorted to unprecedented lock downs to control it. We are cancelling church, school, sports, etc . . . , staying home, and wearing masks in public. Traditional greetings of hand-shakes and hugs are discouraged, and any meetings we do have are usually on-line. As some states begin to “move out” of this quarantine stage, I am reminded of Matthew 10 when Jesus sent the disciples out into a dangerous world to share his gospel. In verses 17-18 he tells them, “Behold, I am sending you out as sheep in the midst of wolves, so be wise as serpents and innocent as doves.  Beware of men, for they will deliver you over to courts and flog you in their synagogues,  and you will be dragged before governors and kings for my sake, to bear witness before them and the Gentiles.” Those carrying his message would experience danger, no question. But, he goes on to tell them, “And do not fear those who kill the body but cannot kill the soul. Rather fear him who can destroy both soul and body in hell” (John 10: 17-18, 28) for  “Are not two sparrows sold for a penny? And not one of them will fall to the ground apart from your Father . . . Fear not, therefore; you are of more value than many sparrows” (John 10: 29, 31).

Isn’t this comparing apples to oranges? Not really. Few of us have the ability to stay at home for the entire year it will take to come up with a vaccine for this virus. Even if we can, the vaccine will probably be used heavily in nursing homes and not be available to the general public at first. For me, I know that in the Fall, my kids and I will go back to being around 2000 people daily in our various school settings, the possibility of infection swirling around us. So, like the disciples, we are or will be asked to venture out into a dangerous world. As we do this, we will be not only susceptible to all of the world’s former dangers of disease, violence and cruelty, but now we will be in danger of contracting COVID-19 without the comfort of a vaccine. Just like the disciples, we are sure to face difficulties in this time, even if catching the virus isn’t one of them. What can we glean from Jesus’ words during this time? 1. There will be wolves, human or otherwise, and we may suffer. 2. As Ephesians 6:12 states, “Our struggle is not against flesh and blood”, so we do not need to fear people (or viruses). We need to fear God alone, the only one who can save our souls. 3. God alone determines who lives or dies. Illness, violence, and natural disasters will always be with us. Our time is determined by our loving Father. 4. He values us. Just as he is sovereign over the lives of sparrows, he is sovereign over our lives.

As we are “sent out” of sorts back into a society riddled with fear and anxiety, may we remember that Christ is aware of the dangers. For most of us, he is calling us not to hide, for as he specifically determines the death of each sparrow, he is also orchestrating the details of our lives. The appearance of COVID-19 did not thwart his plans. So, although we are careful and considerate of others, may we move out in faith only fearing Him that keeps our souls and remember his words: “In the world you will have tribulation. But take heart; I have overcome the world” (John 16:33).