Carried Along

A blog about real life through the lens of Christ

recent posts

  • Reflections on an #Unproductive #Garden: Facing #disappointment in our everyday lives

    I love to garden.  I really do.  The idea of spring, the excitement of watching a seed turn into a small green chute, and, of course, using the squash and cucumbers I grew myself get me every time.  Not to mention the fact that my closet domestic gets to come out for a few months before I get ready to go back to school, my true calling.  While the growing season in Montana starts later than some places, even a seed catalog (which I rarely use) quickens my heart.  This year, however, has been a true disappointment so far.  While it often takes my seeds longer than the textbook time period to germinate, I have nothing up except the tomato, pepper, and rhubarb plants I bought.  The culprit?  Probably slugs, but they’ve never stopped me before.  Unfortunately, this year is the worst gardening venture so far.  I am truly disappointed.

    Now, Lord willing, I will have a thriving pumpkin plant soon (they always surprise me), but I hate waiting.  I want immediate satisfaction, no snags (or slugs), immediate success. I don’t know about you, but I feel the same extreme impatience in many areas of my life.  I want immediate results in my relationship with my husband, my prayers for my children, my mentoring relationships, and my educational and professional goals.  I know, I know, we live in a fallen world ruled by God’s purposes, not mine.  But when I pray, I want an answer, when I make an effort in a relationship, I want results, when I make a goal, I want to reach it-no snails, snags or hiccups. Is that really too much to ask?

    The older I get, the more I realize that my time is not God’s time.  Sure, I SHOULD know this.  The Bible is very clear about the disconnect between our idea of time and God’s. Ecclesiastes  11:3 tells us, “He has made everything beautiful in its time. Also, he has put eternity into man’s heart, yet so that he cannot find out what God has done from the beginning to the end”, 2 Peter 3:8-9 reminds us,  “But do not forget this one thing, dear friends: With the Lord a day is like a thousand years, and a thousand years are like a day. The Lord is not slow in keeping his promise, as some understand slowness. Instead he is patient with you, not wanting anyone to perish, but everyone to come to repentance”, and 1 Thessalonians warns us, “Now, brothers and sisters, about times and dates we do not need to write to you, for you know very well that the day of the Lord will come like a thief in the night” (5:2). 

    Even after 45 years it’s funny how, knowing these truths, I still feel devastated when I don’t get immediate results.  Just like my heartbreak this morning when I saw that I still have ZERO seeds popping up in my garden, unforeseen complications in my relationships or my angst over my blog seemingly receiving less views than ever, I am definitely the person of “little faith” Jesus talked about on that stormy night at sea.

    Miraculously, when I actually take the time to do it, if I take time to acknowledge the times that God used time differently in my life for his purposes, I am in awe of his providence.  In 1999, my grandmother fell into the Grand Canyon of Yellowstone National Park. She was 74 and newly recovered from heart surgery.  She had a new lease on life.  In an instant, the glue that held our family together was gone. For years, my family struggled with this life-altering loss, questioning why we couldn’t have her just a little longer.  Soon after her death, my grandfather became very ill.  This illness resulted in diabetes and dementia, which became very pronounced in 2008.  A few years after he died in 2010, we realized God’s plan. Despite our ongoing devastation, we realized that had my grandmother lived, she would have had to revisit the painful path of her mother’s battle with dementia.  Despite our protests, God knew she had endured enough wounds from that devastating disease. 

    In the past few years, I had a girl show up one day asking for biblical advice.  As it turned out, she is the step-daughter of a friend I have been praying for since high school.  I cannot express what a blessing this relationship has been to me.  I could never have dreamed of a better way for God to answer my prayers in his time (over 20 years later) and his way.

    And then, of course, there is 2020-year no one could have predicted.  In truth, we are all still somewhat unaware of what the complete shutdown of our daily activities did to us emotionally and spiritually.  Yet, we have to admit, this truly isolating and emotionally crushing year was used by God to work for our good (Romans 8:28).  While we made many mistakes (I know I did), we slowed down, appreciated what was important, and came together in a way we couldn’t have before. 

    Abraham’s wait for a son, Joseph’s sale and imprisonment, Israel’s enslavement(s) and wait for a messiah,  Christ’s wait for his ministry and wrongful execution- many heroes of the faith waited a long time for promises, some that were disappointing, and nothing like what they expected.  Why should my life be any different?  After all, Isaiah tells us, “For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, declares the Lord.  For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways are my thoughts than your thoughts” (Isaiah 55:8-9). 

    The success of my garden this year is shaky at best.  I may have to swallow my pride and buy a few plants in order to get some produce.  In any case, it won’t be as productive as I would like.  But one thing is sure,  I will continue to have experiences that don’t turn out the way I want-disappointments, unexpected complications, maybe even utter failure.  Despite the certain difficulties and suffering of this world, God’s garden is ALWAYS productive, no matter what we see.  Today I am praying I can rest in these words of Christ, “I have said these things so that in me you may have peace.  In the world you will have tribulation.  But take courage; I have overcome the world” (John 16:33).

  • Celebrating #Father’sDay in a Fallen World

    Photo of a little boy and his dad on a field. Dad is holding a model of plane and shows how it flies.

    Father.  For me, this word evokes many emotions.  Excitement, love, adventure, that feeling that I can accomplish anything.  My late father-in-law brings other characteristics to mind.  Patience, quiet devotion, and faithfulness.  While in our family, the word “father’ or “dad” connotes fond memories, many have a different reaction.  After 22 years in public schools, I have seen it all.  Overbearing or cruel, distant or absent, incarcerated or addicted, even deceased, some who even took their own lives.  And then there are those, too many to count, who hardly knew their fathers or never met them at all.  All they have are a few faint memories or stories, often negative, told to them by a family member. Once I even had a mother tell me she “couldn’t tell him (my student) much about his father”.

    It’s true. Despite the many wonderful fathers I’ve had the privilege to know, a discussion of fathers quickly reminds us that we live in a fallen world.  What’s funny?  We all still want fathers, even those who’ve had the worst of experiences.  If I could count the hours I’ve spent listening to kids talk about their fathers, especially those who didn’t have contact with them anymore because of abandonment, incarceration, severe addiction, etc. . . . Good, bad, or indifferent, fathers are important.  Period. 

    While some people say we have a “God-shaped” hole in our lives, I also assert-and many would have to agree- that we have a “father-shaped” hole.  Ask any 5 year-old who doesn’t have one.  I can tell you, the desire for a father-child relationship is always there-there isn’t too much difference with 16 year-olds either. 

    So, why mention all of this heartbreak, on Father’s Day weekend of all times?  Well, despite our fallen situation, there is good news.  The gospel loves to redeem hopeless circumstances, to turn deep chasms of fallenness upside down.  As Isaiah 61 describes it,

    He has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted,

      to proclaim freedom for the captives

      and release from darkness for the prisoners,[a]

    to proclaim the year of the Lord’s favor

        and the day of vengeance of our God,

    to comfort all who mourn,

     and provide for those who grieve in Zion—

    to bestow on them a crown of beauty

        instead of ashes,

    the oil of joy

        instead of mourning,

    and a garment of praise

        instead of a spirit of despair.

    Even the best of fathers show weakness and fail, but God is there to fill our “father-shaped” hole.  He is our ever faithful, always loving, never failing Dad, the one who binds our broken hearts, sets us free, comforts us, and trades the ashes of our broken lives for beauty. 

    One of my favorite movies is titled Smoke Signals.  Based on a book by Sherman Alexie, this movie follows a character member of the Cord d’alene tribe named Victor who comes to terms with the death of his alcoholic, abusive father, who abandoned him around the age of 10.  In the end of the movie, the director included a poem called “How Do We Forgive Our Fathers?”?  While this poem is not faith-based, it insightfully expresses the many conflicting feelings people have about their fathers.  While it mentions the true heart break some have felt at the hand of their fathers such as, “unexpected rage” or “divorcing . . . our mothers”, it also eloquently relates how all of us are so easily disappointed, sometimes at no fault of our father at all.  From displaying “unexpected rage” to no rage at all, marrying or not marrying, divorcing or not divorcing, even exhibiting warmth or coldness.  Essentially, no father can match our idealistic dad:  the one who plays ball, fixes things, is always kind, and never abandons us even in the smallest way.  Now, I grew up with a great dad as many of you did, yet, let’s face it, the idea of fathers is often more like a fairy tale than real life. 

    Maybe this is God’s plan.  We need him as our ideal father, all of us children with varied “father” backgrounds.  This father-shaped hole is there to call us to him, the one father who is always consistent and never disappoints. 

    Consider the following verses about God as our perfect father:

    For you are our Father, though Abraham does not know us, and Israel does not acknowledge us; you, O Lord, are our Father, our Redeemer from of old is your name (Isaiah 63:16).

    And I will be a father to you, and you shall be sons and daughters to me, says the Lord Almighty (2 Corinthians 6:18).

    Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who has blessed us in Christ with every spiritual blessing in the heavenly places (Ephesians 1:3).

    Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of lights with whom there is no variation or shadow due to change (James 1:17).

    See what kind of love the father has given to us that we should be called the children of God . . . . (1 John 3:1).

    . . . for the Lord reproves him whom he loves, as a father the son in whom he delights (Proverbs 3:12).

    For you did not receive the spirit of slavery to fall back into fear, but you have received the Spirit of adoption of sons, by whom we cry, “Abba, Father” (Romans 8: 15)

    Look at the birds of the air; they neither sow nor reap nor gather into barns, and ye your heavenly father feeds them.  Are you not of more value than they? (Matthew 6:26).

    In my Father’s house there are many rooms.  If it were not so, would I have to you that I go to prepare a place for you? (John 14:2)

    Enough said. As we meditate on these verses this Father’s Day, may we give thanks for the fathers and father figures God has given us and forgive any action or inaction that strayed from our expectations, knowing that our heavenly father chose us, loves us, and provides for us without fail.  That father-shaped hole?  We can trust “ . . . him who is able to do far more abundantly than all that we ask or think, according to the power at work within us” (Ephesians 3:20) to fill it perfectly.. 

  • Embracing Diversity in the Body of Christ

    Just like doing an activity in a new environment, confronting the issue of diversity in the body of Christ can be an uncomfortable activity. Different buildings (or none at all), music, worship styles, prayers, congregants, school choices, and political leanings are just a few of the challenges that can make us feel uneasy. While diversity is a “hot button” issue in secular society, it is not one we, as believers are at liberty to ignore. 

    https://www.facebook.com/groups/connect.pca.women/permalink/4007672919315970/

  • 15 Encouraging Bible Verses for the Graduates of 2021

    So blessed to be able to write this, especially after such a crazy year!Congratulations graduates!

    www.rocksolidfaith.ca/bible-verses-for-graduates/

  • Raising Children in a Success Obsessed World

    As we finish another school year, praying I will focus on God’s definition of success, and not the world’s.

    twitter.com/pcacdm/status/1291310561783951360

  • Why We Are All Foreign Missionaries Right Now

    In 1996, I taught English in Xingjian, a remote province in China. Bordering Kazakhstan and Mongolia, this obscure province is where Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon was filmed and is currently well known for the Uighur “reeducation camps” located there. My only longer-term (6 weeks) overseas experience left me with many insights:

    1. Denominational differences are not as important in spiritually oppressed cultures. The brothers and sisters living there spoke of secret “bathtub” baptisms, ostrasization by family members, “blacklisting” or complete disappearance of new believers, and yes, the death sentence for those found guilty of “proselytizing”. Pentecostal and reformed were not at odds. Believers were truly family. They stuck together despite denominational issues, which might have come between them here in the states.
    2. Politics is put on the back burner when freedom/democracy don’t exist. At the time, I remember wondering how Western Christians could define themselves minus the terms Republican or Democrat, Pro-Life or Pro-Choice, etc. . . . For the people there, these were not options. They were simply Christians, no other terminology needed. What a concept.
    3. The word of God is cherished when it is scarce. At this time, when the internet was barely a thought, especially in China, people scoured over 3 pages of the Bible at a time, passing them along to someone else when they finished.
    4. Lack of freedom of religion, and freedom in general, brought cultures together. In a world where the gospel was scarce and restricted, the Han, the Uighurs, the Kazhaks, and a plethora of other minorities, all had to come together despite their many differences. Was it a struggle? Yes, but they had no choice due to their lack of resources.

    With the polarizing political climate controlling the narrative in the West today, Christians could learn a lot from foreign the Christians in oppressive cultures like China. While Western believers are not being martyred, and a surplus of Bibles still exists, Western Christians may do well to put aside minor denominational differences, political tensions, and cultural differences in order to come together as the body of Christ in a time when the Western church is more divided than ever.

    When foreign missionaries travel to another culture, whether they be short-term or long-term, they know they will give up many “luxuries”, whether they be physical or otherwise.  They will give up physical comforts, familiar food, cultural norms, stereotypes, and be willing to immerse themselves in a culture completely different from their own. They do it because that is the only way for the gospel to go forth.  The same concept applies for Western believers in a culture we know very well.  In order to achieve the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace (Ephesians 4:3) and share the gospel with others, we now must “go forth” in our own communities, laying our political and cultural ideas aside, and boy are there a lot of them.

    With the prevalence of social media, it is almost as if we are all walking billboards. Unfortunately, our billboards are less about Christ and more about abortion, party politics, immigration, gender identification, critical race theory, COVID, and lockdowns, mine included. Don’t get me wrong, these are important issues, but we can’t treat those on the other side of these issues as our enemies. The enemy never has been flesh and blood. Instead, we fight “against the rulers, against the authorities, against the cosmic powers over this present darkness, against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly places” (Ephesians 6:12). The people we see as enemies are actually our brothers and sisters or potential future family members. I assert that the time is now, the time for all of us to adjust our spiritual lenses to that of a foreign missionary in a new culture for the first time. Maybe this refocusing will allow us to see people not as adversaries but as souls: fellow believers or hurting souls that are hungry for the truth we have, that will set them free.

    Lord, give us your eyes to see others. May we choose to “know nothing but Christ and him crucified” (1 Corinthians 2:2) in order to live out your gospel in a chaotic world.

  • A #Mother’s Day Prayer in an Imperfect World

    I pretended that I didn’t see it, the white bag in my son’s backpack that said, “Mom”.  Based on years of experience, I knew it was a Mother’s Day “present” they made in school.  He would be heartbroken if he thought I saw it before I was supposed to: he loves surprising me; he sure does love his mom.  It is the last one, the last school-made gift I will get, this being his last year in elementary school. But as I carefully tucked in back into his bag, I couldn’t help but think of his classmate whose mother passed away last year after a long battle with cancer.  What was he feeling as his classmates were crafting these?

    As a public school teacher, my joyous holiday thoughts are often interrupted, tainted by the scars of a fallen world.  For me, holidays were, well, perfect in many ways.  All of them were happy and filled with love. As I have grown older, I have realized just how truly blessed I was to have such a loving, God-fearing family, immediate and extended alike.  So as I think of my wonderful mother who taught me to love God, to reach my potential, to serve my family, to pick my battles, to clean a bathroom and much more, I pray for my students (former and present) whose mothers have passed away, are in prison, or who have chosen to abandon them whether it be physically or emotionally.  Of course, there are those my age whose relationships with their mothers are complicated or contentious,mother’s who have lost precious children, not to mention countless others who’ve wanted to be mothers and could not either because they are single or cannot conceive or carry a child.

    While holidays tend to highlight the pain of the lonely and broken, the gospel gives comfort.  Psalm 68 reminds us the God is “A father to the fatherless, a defender of widows, is God in his holy dwelling.  God sets the lonely in families. . . . “ (Psalm 86:5-6).  James 1 explains, “Religion that is pure and undefiled before God the Father is this; to visit orphans and widows in their affliction, and to keep oneself unstained from the world” (James 1:27).  In short, the church is meant to be a family in a world when so many don’t have one. 

    So, today, as I thank God today for my selfless mother and my beautiful children, I pray I will be grateful for all I have been given.  I pray I will cling to Christ as I mother my children in an ever-changing world.  Amidst all of this, I pray I will daily speak a motherly word “gracious and seasoned with salt” (Colossi ans 4:6) to anyone who needs it as so many others have done for me. 

  • Lord, Fix My Eyes

    I hate to admit it, but this last year or two, really since #COVID, I’ve had a vision problem.  Not the kind a visit to the optometrist and a prescription can fill, but a much deeper problem.  My vision isn’t just out of focus, I’m simply looking in the wrong places.  Admittedly, blurry vision would indicate an effort to see the truth.  Now, truth right now can mean many things, but according to Hebrews 12, we are to “ . . . run with perseverance the race marked out for us, fixing our eye on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of our faith”. Why? We must “Consider him who endured such opposition from sinners, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart” (Hebrews 12:2,3). 

    Yep.  That’s definitely what’s happened to me.  I am definitely weary.  Tired of quarreling and fighting, promises of quick fixes that only seem to perpetuate society’s already ill state.  On top of my frustration with the state of, well, everything, I seem to have spiritual amnesia.  I somehow believe that I am living in the first time in history without direction, characterized by godlessness, unrest and, yes, insanity. In my frustration, I am conveniently forgetting, blind really, not only God’s sovereignty and love, but the uncertainty of the Abraham’s barrenness, Joseph’s sale and slavery, Daniel’s den and furnace,  the Israelites’ captivity again and again; not to mention Christ’s crucifixion during oppressive Roman rule.  Basically, I have forgotten my “first love” like the church in Ephesus (Revelation 2) and have no choice but to repent of my wandering eyes.

    So, today I am camping in 2 Corinthians 5.  Here I am reminded that I am supposed to be groaning, “longing to put on our heavenly dwelling” (5:2) and uncomfortable in this earthly body (2:6).  Instead of walking by sight, images of more disheartening news everywhere I look, I am to “walk by faith” (2:7).  What does this “blind walking” produce?  “ . . . good courage” (2:6).  I don’t know about you, but I could definitely use some of that.  The secular view produces a lot of things: fear, despair, doubt, but definitely not “good courage”.

    A friend posted Psalm 46 today.  What a sermon! 

    “God is our refuge and strength,

    An ever present help in trouble.

    Therefore we will not fear,

    Though the earth give way

    And the mountains fall into the heart of the sea . . . “

    Lord, forgive me.

    Forgive me for forgetting you, your promises, your love, and your sovereignty that has overcome all obstacles past and present and makes “all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose” (Romans 8:28).  Forgive me for letting small issues like politics, masks, social distancing, etc. . . . . get in the way of the main thing:  loving you and others-yes, even others that I disagree with on the many polarizing issues of the day. 

    Once again, please

    “Create in me a clean heart, O God,

    And renew a right spirit within me.

    Cast me not away from your presence,

    And take not your holy spirit from me.

    Restore to me the joy of my salvation . . . “ ( Psalm 51: 10-12).

    Lord, fix my eyes on you alone.

  • I Lift My Eyes

    In the year 2000, I began a six year stint as a teacher in a treatment facility.   I had just moved back my home state of Montana, after spending 6 years in Oklahoma and Texas, when my Grandmother died tragically. I missed my family, and I was really questioning how I had spent so many years in the flat lands, so I moved home.  That year I began a six year stint as a teacher in a treatment facility.  My experience in this setting is and was invaluable.  As I taught, worked in the residential lodges, and helped lead worship with the students I taught, I was educated in what it is like to be abandoned, abused, addicted, or tormented by PTSD or mental illness.  This experience in understanding the struggles of so many different people has made teaching an art instead of a job for me.  The other benefit of working in this setting was the people I worked with.  Yes, treatment facilities have a high turnover rate, but there were so many wise, experienced, and Christian people I worked with who taught me so much about working with kids as well as life. 

    Among these people was the man I consider to be the wisest person I know-no offense to the many wise people God has used in my life.  He was a reserved, Christian psychologist who had devoted his life to counseling the most difficult, children and teens in our community.  Simply working around him was a constant reminder of God’s character.  One day the school was having a myriad of discipline problems-usually around the holidays, full moons, etc. . . . –and as soon as one fire was put out another started.  I remember I briefly stopped in to his office to vent.  I said something like, “Have you seen what is going on out there?  What are we going to do?”  He calmly smiled at me and said, “That’s why the Psalm says, ‘I lift my eyes to the hills’ (Psalm 121).  We aren’t supposed to look at our surroundings, we are supposed to look up” and calmly went back to work. 

    There are many times I have recalled this timely reminder, and when COVID hit, this was one of the first verses to pop into my head, not because I had memorized it as a child, but because this man had applied it to real life.  Once the cloud of depression I was in wore off from sitting at home and missing my students and co-workers, I really thought we (the country) would have moved on by now, but according to the news I watched this morning, the disruption of life has not only continued but gotten worse.  Now we fear the virus, a suffering economy, police brutality, racial unrest, riots and a permanent disruption to life as we know it. And our nation is looking for someone-the right leader (or politician) to make it better, the “right” outcome to the election.  How quickly we forget that we already have a savior.  It is a waste, a sin, to put our hopes in a new one.  Should we vote? Should we get involved in our local communities instead of burying our heads, yes!  But we should do these things knowing that because of Christ, “If God is for us, who can be against us?” (Romans 8:31.  The victory is already his and will continue to be even if the nation stays in an uproar over one issue or another.  Lord, remind us to keep looking up!

  • Faith-Based Parenting: Restrictive or Compassionate?

    Faith-Based Parenting: Restrictive or Compassionate?

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