Approval

It was a brief encounter, 5 minutes, maybe 6? What was said, however, has been playing through my mind for weeks now.  I never expected something so significant to happen at a trampoline park of all places.  We had free passes we needed to use, so while my boys and their friends jumped, I reluctantly read the new book I am teaching next year.  Don’t get me wrong, I love teaching, but that end of summer feeling when I need to get ready, but I just don’t want to quite yet, was still with me.  All of a sudden, a young man in his early 20’s sat next to me on the bench and said, “Hi, Mrs. . . .”  Well, now I knew that this young man, now probably 6 foot 4, at least, was a former student.  That feeling can be overwhelming to someone who has taught as long as I have because, after 20 years, I don’t always remember everyone’s name or exactly what year I taught them, but I remembered him.  He was an exceptional athlete with many insecurities and the only name I could remember was the last name which he had changed in the two years I knew him because he had been abandoned by the dad that gave it to him.

“I want you to know you taught me a lot”, he went on to say, “and I hope you don’t think I’m a bad kid.”

Wow! What heartbreaking honesty, considering it had been 5 years since I had seen him, and we were in the middle of a noisy trampoline park on a summer day.  I quickly started remembering the true angst he displayed as a 15 year-old who desperately wanted approval from teachers, coaches and a dad who left, making sure we knew he never drank or used drugs. 

What was my answer?  I told him that being a teenager is tough, and I did not think he was a bad kid and patted him on the back.  He told me a few superficial details about his life now and left saying, “I just really wanted to talk to you” or something along those lines.

Did I say the right thing?  Was there something more God wanted me to say at that time?  My answer was probably lacking in many ways as usual because I am very emotional about some of the kids I have taught and didn’t know how to respond to such heart-felt honesty.  All I know is I have thought about this encounter every day since it happened.  Maybe it’s because we all feel this often, even daily, needing the approval of others, wondering if people think we are “bad people” for the things we do and say or don’t do and don’t say.  Just like this young man, I strive to receive other’s approval in my life instead of the father whose is the only approval I need. Whether it be at church, at work or with my husband,  I strive to do and say things that will make people “impressed” with me, but, unlike this young man,  I have a father whose approval I already have, not because I have done anything to deserve it, but because Jesus took my place, ensuring my complete approval of a perfect God.  So, why is it so hard to resist the struggle for approval from man?  Even Matthew 6 shows man’s tendency to struggle to get what we need ourselves.  Even though this passage is talking about struggling for what we will “eat” or “drink”, this striving to meet our own needs can apply to emotional needs as well.  May we “seek first his kingdom and his righteousness” trusting that whatever we need will “be given to ‘us’ as well” (Matthew 6:33) and “Let us then with confidence draw near to the throne of grace . . . “ (Hebrews 4:16), not because we are “good kids” but because of Jesus who is not “unable to sympathize with our weaknesses, but one who in every respect has been tempted as we are, yet without sin” (Hebrews 4:15).  May we rest not chase after fleeting approval and rest in the approval Jesus so freely offers.