Mentoring: What Not to Do

I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. Not only was I on foreign territory (The Bible Belt), but I had just returned from 6 weeks in a Muslim province in China. I was tired, my stomach was still a little off, and I was not used to life in America, especially church life in America. My memory of this day is fuzzy at best, but I remember sitting in my friend’s church listening to a discussion on new carpet. Maybe it was a discussion, maybe they were taking a vote on whether to buy new carpet, but all I remember is thinking, “Do they realize that a good portion of the world’s church doesn’t even meet in buildings?” Home churches, bugged rooms, baptisms in bath tubs as well as names of condemned criminals (Christians among them) displayed on prison walls were fresh in my mind. My 20-year-old self did not know how to reconcile these two drastically different “Christian” perspectives, but I did know one thing: much of what Americans consider “Christian” are not a part of the gospel at all.

It has been over 20 years since that time, and I still struggle with separating the true gospel from my opinions, preferences, lifestyle choices and comfort level. This is especially difficult in mentoring. I have always mentored. Since I was 16-years-old, I have been in some sort of mentoring role in the church, ministry, school; I don’t remember a time I didn’t mentor. I truly feel that mentoring is a privilege for many reasons, but lately, I have realized how difficult genuine mentoring truly is. This is especially true when mentoring someone from a different race, culture, socioeconomic group or denomination. I have to constantly ask myself, “Is what I am focusing on truly important to Christ and this person’s walk with him, or I am I just wanting he/she to be more like me so that I feel more comfortable?”

I am daily convicted about my need to want the people I mentor to display similar beliefs when it comes to politics, money, wealth, life goals, education, career, family, etc . . . The more I am privileged to come into contact with people from different walks of life, the more I realize that a lot of the mentoring I do and am doing is not all about Christ, but more about me. May we all be willing to struggle with this difficult truth and commit to focus our attention on God’s concerns, saying as Paul said, “And I, when I came to you, brothers, did not come proclaiming to you the testimony of God with lofty speech or wisdom. For I decided to know nothing among you except Jesus Christ and him crucified. And I was with you in weakness and in fear and much trembling, and my speech and my message were not in plausible words of wisdom, but in demonstration of the Spirit and of power, so that your faith might not rest in the wisdom of men but in the power of God.” 1 Corinthians 2:1-5.

Please Lord, make our mentoring yours.